Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Just keep chopping and it'll all be better tomorrow.

Right.

So, the swelling and bandages are gone from my Oct. 3rd surgery with the bat in Toronto that "couldn't" or more likely didn't want to treat me further. There is a pretty little scar, and I was just poking around and what do I feel? A lump! Right under the scar, the same size as what she supposedly took out. So, am I to think it grew out of nowhere or did she just take a bit of it out (see blog entries late Sept/early Oct. 2006 for background) instead of the whole thing?

And if so, why did my new surgeon not see it, even though I JUST had surgery about 2 cm away from the site only 4 days ago? Even though I've had supposed ultra sounds to the area and been poked and prodded. Whatever! Oh, did I mention: Cancer Sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just give me a break. I can't think about this. I am sick of my wheels turning, I'm sick of thinking. I'm just gonna try to chop some veggies for dinner and watch TV. I'm just going to forget it... for now. I wanna forget it forever. RE-WIND!

Have appt. with Medical Oncologist (chemo doctor) in London Thursday so she'll be able to say what showed up on CT scans the other day.

My appt. with the surgeon isn't till Nov 27th and he's on vaca so no point in pursuing that route.

Ok, Im done. I'm over it. I'm chopping veggies.

6 Comments:

At 5:36 PM, Blogger Ms.Smarties said...

I can't believe this Sarah. I am so sorry. Hang in there girl.

 
At 9:04 AM, Blogger Carver said...

Hi Sarah,

Well hell. Not much I can say but that sucks. I am hoping that it will be something else. If I were you, I am sure I wouldn't be able to maintain my humor as you have. You have my utmost respect and I wish there was something helpful I could say or do.

As ever, Carver

 
At 9:14 AM, Blogger Heather said...

Oh Sarah, I don't even know what to say.

When I look at what you've been through recently and how you've done it with such class, humor and strength and then look at this latest post and it pisses me off that you have to still be thinking about this crap at a time when you should just be able to spend time recovering. (even if it's NOT mel, you need to not have to deal with this right now)

I'm so, SO sorry this isn't cutting you a break. I mean, we all get the occasional setback, you learn to accept that part of this shit, but they seem to hit you fast and it isn't fair.

Dammit.

Give her a freaking break, mel. Don't make me get the mommy finger out.

Sending love and hugs and let me know if I can do anything for you.

H

 
At 8:54 AM, Blogger RisingSlowly said...

Hmmm, truly pisses me orf when good writers like yourself are given struggles in life.
I was like Armstrong et al who were given but a glimpse of what might have been but who came out okay - borderline ovarian for me - but I never forget and am thankful for each day, and I now live life as if it could be taken from me at any time.
There's nobody to really talk to about living life this way, and this is why I stay real by saying prayers and staying in touch with folks going through struggles that most folks cannot comprehend.
I'll be thinking of you daily and hoping for a full and speedy recovery for you.
The best of wishes,
Maria

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger Heather said...

Hey girl,

Thinking of you!

 
At 8:03 PM, Blogger faye said...

Okay, I will stop being a dirty lurker & post something. I love your story and the honesty in your posts. Keep it up, Que Sarah Sarah! p.s. You can blame Miss Melanoma for me. :)

 

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