Friday, December 01, 2006

I'm an old pro at this

Disclaimer: Spell check isn't working again and I'm too tired to re-read my post. That's been the case with most of posts actually.

Well, I got a small break from surgeries, if not cancer altogether. My supposed seroma seems to be melanoma. The lump has grown from almond size to, wait, let me feel it....small plum size, in 3 weeks. It grew from nothing (my sugery Oct 3rd cleared out that area) to small plum size in 2 months. My melanoma grows fast. Too fast for my liking, but I have no control over it. There is also a smaller lump, let's call it peanut size since we're on a food theme, right underneath it, hiding beneath my drain scar from one of my Oct surgeries. Derek and I went on a lump hunt--not quite as fun as an Easter egg hunt--last night and found nothing else so I'm happy about that. The other thing to be happy for is that my surgery is this Tuesday! Man, the service just gets faster and faster at the my cancer centre. I was in the right place at the right time, they had a hole to fill in the OR schedule so they stuck me in. I'll be hunky dory for the Christmas party we're hosting at home for friends on the 22nd as well as Christmas and New Years unless something crazy happens so all is well.

Got my path report back from the Nov.2nd surgery. There were 6 lumps taken out. One was not melanoma but plain old fatty tissue. To my surprise, the small lump in my breast was melanoma. Not the most common place for mm (malignant melanoma) to spread, but it does happen. Now I can say I have had the exact same procedures as most early stage breast cancer patients: lumpectomy, lymphnode dissection, radiation with commonly resulting lymphedema, just the procedures aren't in the same order! So, including the 2 masses that will be removed on Tuesday, that is 14 tumours removed in 2 months. Shitacular! Ok, Sarah, focus on the positive. If you were in a third world country you would be dead by now and none of them would have been removed. My body has kept this disease out of my organs for over 11 years. I know it can continue to do it for many many more! I have too much to live for and I love this life too much to move on just yet. UNIVERSE, DO YOU GET THE MESSAGE?!!!!

In non-cancer news: I went back to the school and it was much better. The woman, lets call her Doris, seemed somewhat more together. I haven't decided if that's because she had a cold last week and it made her brain foggy (too many antihistamines?) or if it's because the kids were busy making Christmas cards for some elderly adults in the community so she didn't need to talk much or keep the kids' attention. I wasn't paying much attention either to what she was doing because I was occupied touring around checking on how everybody was coming along and helping out with spelling, so it could be that I just didn't notice if she was still out to lunch.

Anyway, it went well and I really enjoyed the time around all the kiddos, watching them be creative and work as team. It's so funny to watch the personalities come out, the bossy kid, the whiner, the tattle-tale, the peace-maker etc. I wondered on the way home why I didn't become an elementary school teacher.Then I remembered-- I only got a 3 year degree instead of 4 year and I cornered myself by taking a major that I hated (english lit.) and a minor (psychology) that I liked but to turn it into a major and continue on with my 4th year, I would have had to take more science oriented psych classes and Sarah doesn't do science. I sucked at it all through elementary and highschool. I also had a fear that I would have to sing. Yup, like, la la la, sing. Don't all elementary teachers break out into song for class "fun"? At the very least around Christmas they make their classes sing carols. That' s what it was like when I went to school anyway and I used to think that I would be forced to sing with my class if I was a primary teacher. I'm not a great singer. That's why I became a tax auditor.

Well, it's Friday and I have a wild night of making some kind of yummy baked treat and watching What Not To Wear planned so I better get to it! Happy weekend to whoever is reading.


At 9:21 PM, Blogger superstar said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 1:15 PM, Blogger Carver said...

Hi Sarah,

I am so glad you have the volunteer work with the children. I'm know the children benefit from having you there and it's good for you to have a break from cancer. Call me Pollyana but I'm hoping the surgery Tuesday will not only go well but it will end up being a benign issue of some sort. Either way, I'm hoping this will mark the end of recurrences for you. Take care and best wishes, Carver

At 6:14 AM, Blogger Heather said...

Well Hell...

You must getting frequent flyer miles on your surgeries, hon, that's why you got in so quick.

Bugger, bugger, BUGGER! I hate that you're having to go through this again. I really do. And I hate sub-q's because you can see/feel them growing. Like the new one on my butt (not to worry, it has lots of space down there, hah). News like this makes me want to go clean out a closet - how are yours looking?

Bah bloody humbug to melanoma. But great that you'll have it all done before Christmas and can relax a bit and enjoy yourself.

I like to think that I'll survive this through sheer bloody mindedness, which is waaay different to denial. It's just this refusal to give in. You are soooo not ready to check out and won't be until you have blue granny hair and big knickers and won't leave the house without your support underwear.

I'm glad the volunteer thing went better this time, I really think that someone like you can only add positively to childrens' lives. Have I told you lately how much I admire you? Well... I do.

BTW, my degrees were English and Psychology. It's amazing how much we have in common - are you SURE you're not my younger, much more beautiful, far more intelligent twin? :D

Love 'ya!


At 12:07 AM, Blogger mrbunsrocks said...

Glad you're getting in for surgery so quickly....

I too have a fear of public singing...can't say it's what led me away from education, but I can understand your angst. ;)

Hope all goes well and you party it up like mad on the 22nd! :)

At 4:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hello sarah i am andrena from the uk.have read all your blog.had mm 2oo4 and 1 dysp nevis 2006. waiting for 3 more to be cut out.i will keep my fingers and toes crossed for ya . keep strong.
big huggs and wishes from the uk.

At 8:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sarah,
Just finished year of interferon on Monday and starting to detox. Three surgeries for mm, and a final CT in Feb. Fingers crossed.I think I burnt the strip off the health card and can tell you every bump on the road to Hamilton. I wish I had found your blog sooner. Remember you have things to do and don't have the energy to waste on negative stuff. Good Luck!


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