Saturday, June 02, 2007

June 2

Thanks for all the comments, I have read them and they are very touching.
Sarah's still fighting hard and has had miraculous periods of clarity, we've both said a lot of meaningful things to one another and for this I'm very grateful. Along with these moments of clarity are increasing episodes of delusion, confusion and hallucinations. These have become more prevalent over the last week. Its hard to see, handle and defuse. The disease in the brain is progressing but hopefully these symptoms will slow down since the latest flurry. She still assures me she's content and when resting is peaceful. The moments of clarity since the whole brain radiation will always be special, her(our) social worker says she's one of the special very few who are so strong and can regain so much function. To all her good friends, I've told her about of all your messages and e-mails, She knows she's loved and misses all. Most of the blog comments have also been read by Sarah, Thanks for all the support.
I'm really glad everyone understands how special Sarah is, I've truly never experienced such love, power and determination and her beauty remains, what a sight she is.

90 Comments:

At 5:15 PM, Blogger A proud granddaughter said...

My thoughts are with you. Sarah is amazing and I feel lucky to "know" her.

 
At 5:17 PM, Blogger Christie said...

Derek,

Thanks for the update. Sarah is one strong, amazing woman. I'm still praying for her and you.

Take care.

 
At 5:34 PM, Blogger Stacey said...

Thank you so much for continuing to keep us updated, at such an intense time. I have no doubt that Sarah continues to be as strong in these difficult days as always. Please take care - you both continue to be in my thoughts.

Stace (S&M)

 
At 6:49 PM, Blogger Ms.Teacher said...

Stay strong

 
At 6:51 PM, Blogger mrbunsrocks said...

Thank you for the update Derek. There are a lot of people thinking about Sarah and her continuing battle. Take care.

 
At 6:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Derek,
You and Sarah are in my prayers daily.
-Rocco

 
At 7:12 PM, Blogger Jen said...

Thank you for the update, Derek. I've been thinking of you and Sarah. I'm so glad that you are still able to have meaningful moments together - I wish you all the best and I sincerely hope that Sarah is as comfortable as possible.

 
At 7:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the update. I've been thinking of both of you in the past weeks and wishing for peace and strength for you. Take good care.

 
At 7:28 PM, Anonymous Donna Wingfield said...

Thank you for using some of this precious time to apprise us of Sarah's condition. I keep you and Sarah in my thoughts, and since I'm a "praying type" your'e in my prayers as well.

 
At 7:36 PM, Blogger lifeafterjasper said...

thanks for the update... i think of you both often... you're both so strong...

 
At 7:42 PM, Blogger Carver said...

Dear Derek and Sarah,

You both remain in my thoughts and prayers. As ever, Carver

 
At 8:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sarah is an amazing women and is so strong.
You are also an amazing man and I can "feel" your love for her through your posts.

 
At 8:12 PM, Blogger Polkaroo said...

Wishing you much strength and many prayers...

 
At 8:13 PM, Blogger Christy said...

Thank you for the update on Sarah. You are both still in our thoughts all the time.

 
At 8:18 PM, Anonymous Kim (AL) said...

Thanks again for posting Derek. What a sight she is indeed and I am so glad that you have had time to talk and that there are moments of clarity to treasure.
I believe in miracles. Just can't help it...most times they come in differnt ways.
Take good care.

 
At 9:02 PM, Blogger Beansie said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Thank you for the update.

 
At 9:24 PM, Blogger mav said...

I am thinking of you both. Derek, thank you for keeping us updated. Stay strong & enjoy each other.
Lisa (mav)

 
At 9:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Derek-you are such a great guy-you should be very proud of yourself and proud of your Sarah. You both have so much to be grateful for. God will take care of Sarah in this life and in her new life...you will meet again. You have made the most of every moment in this difficult time. You should not have any regrets and that is such a blessing and should give you a great peace. Keep Faith in your heart always. All the Best to you and your Sarah.

 
At 9:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the update! Both of you have been in my thoughts and prayers!

Take care of yourself!

 
At 10:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Derek,

You are amazing! Simply amazing!! Sarah is blessed to have you in her life and you are blessed to have Sarah in your life. Cancer is horrible! Cancer cannot take the love you have for one another and cancer cannot rob you of your precious memories. I think people are just as amazed with the Love Story you share with Sarah. You frequently hear so many bad things, and as bad as cancer is, the Love Story you two share is truly inspiring. Derek you have so much to be thankful for-you found your love, your soulmate and although she is being taken from you in this life-time, you will always be a part of each-other, and you will find a way to be together again. I have been moved by the both of you. People dream of the relationship you two share / it is so rare these days. Your Love Story is bigger than anything, bigger than Sarah's cancer. God Bless you both.

Lubbock, Texas

 
At 10:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the update. I think of you both many times a day. Sarah is an amazing, strong woman. Take care Sarah and Derek.

 
At 10:58 PM, Anonymous Kristy said...

Dearest Sarah and Derek

Words escape me . . . .

I am thinking of you both and thank you for the update.

With love from Oz

 
At 11:06 PM, Anonymous Amy said...

I just can't get the two of you out of my head and I must check the blog 20 times a day to see if you've posted an update. Derek, I think you must be a truly amazing person for Sarah to have chosen to spend her life with. She has brought so much to all of us and her words here will not be in vain. It is truly terrible that melanoma has to happen to someone we can relate to before it sticks in our head that it's not just an "old person's" disease. Please know that she has made a difference to my life and the lives of those around me. I tell Sarah's story to everyone I meet. I'm hoping and praying for a miracle. Take care Derek. Keep us updated.

 
At 11:55 PM, Blogger Chelle said...

Thank you for the update, Derek. You both continue to be in my thoughts everyday. Take care, and stay strong.

 
At 12:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

thank you for the update. I like so many others check the blog for updates on a daily basis. My thoughts are with the two of you.

Jenn

 
At 1:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Derek for updating us. I've been waiting to hear from you. I'm glad to hear that she is hanging in there and content. My thoughts are with you *Hugs*

 
At 1:33 AM, Anonymous anne said...

Thanks Derek for the update. I am glad you are able to share more time together.

Sarah continues to be an inspiration.

Thinking of you both.

 
At 5:29 AM, Blogger Miss Melanoma said...

D & S,
We check in on you guys several times a day to see how you are. Thanks for keeping us updated. You both know we love you and you are constantly on our minds and in our prayers.
Wishing you nothing but peace,
Lori and Bobby

 
At 5:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah, you have a spirit that will go on and live in the lives of those you have touched.

nave

 
At 8:24 AM, Blogger Jo said...

Thank you Derek for taking the time to keep us updated. We continue to pray for you and Sarah. I have never witnessed such strength and beauty and determination before.

 
At 8:31 AM, Blogger ValGal said...

I continue to be in awe of the strengh and love that you and Sarah share. I'm thinking of you both daily.

 
At 9:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Derek,

My heart breaks for you and your loved ones. I know neither yourself or Sarah and yet i'm sitting on my couch crying harder than i've cried ina long time. I only hope that if i am ever faced with such an adversity I can face it with the dignity and strength that you and Sarah have. The love between you is beautiful and we should all be so lucky to find love like yours.

You are both in my thoughs and prayers.

C, Toronto Canada

 
At 9:26 AM, Anonymous Natlyne924/WB said...

Many thoughts and prayers to you. Stay strong.

 
At 9:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm another one that checks several times a day. Thanks for the update. You and Sarah's love is amazing.

I don't know what else to say. There are never the right words.

Peace,
Katrina

 
At 12:15 PM, Blogger Ms.Smarties said...

Thank you for the update Derek. I think about you and Sarah often. Stay strong.

 
At 12:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I check in often to see how you guys are. You are a true love story. I pray for peace for both of you. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.

 
At 12:38 PM, Anonymous engager said...

Thank you for the update. I think of you both every day.

 
At 1:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update Derek. My thoughts are with all of you. I don't know Sarah IRL, but feel blessed to have heard her story.

I'm at a loss for words. I wish you all peace and strength at this time. Take care.

 
At 3:38 PM, Blogger Sarah♥ said...

Sarah and Derek.
I've been reading this blog for many months now and i just want you to know that my thoughts are very much with you both. From what i can gather Sarah is one hell of a fighter. Cherish every single second together, 'cause they will mean the most.

Sarah & Stinky♥

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger ladyaurora said...

You are both in my thoughts and I think you for the update. What a wonderful and strong couple you are.

 
At 4:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Derek,

Thank you very much for the latest update on Sarah. I, like so many others, check this blog several times throughout the day. The two of you are on my mind constantly. I truly believe my life is better for having "known" Sarah through her blog. And for this, I am grateful.

Please stay strong.

Stephanie
Ferndale, Washington

 
At 5:23 PM, Blogger radioactive girl said...

I have been checking back for updates, and have been keeping you both in my thoughts. You both are so strong, and Sarah has really touched more people than she knows! I am truly grateful that Sarah has shared her story, and that you have updated it. Thank you! I will keep you both in my thoughts.

 
At 5:37 PM, Blogger Sharyn Power-Piercy said...

Derek, Thank-you so much for all the updates on Sarah's condition. My heart is breaking for both of you. I have read a lot of Sarah's blog, and I am deeply touched by your deep love for each other, and Sarah's determined courage. Although mel may rob her physically, it cannot rob her emotionally, as she will always be in your heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you both, and I'm sending you botha big hug {{HUG}}. Continue your love and courage. God bless you both.
Sharyn (Newfoundland)
Stage IIIC

 
At 6:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So thankful you and Sarah still able to have such beautiful moments together. It doesn't surprise me she would fight thru so she can be with you as much as possible. She's so amazing. I'm another who checks the blog several times a day. Were you able to get Sarah home or is she in Buffalo in hospital?

 
At 7:33 PM, Blogger The Girl said...

Sarah and Derek,

Thank-you for taking the time to update us.
I'm so happy that you got to spend some time telling each other all you wanted to say.
At the same time, I am so mad and sad that you won't get to spend as much time together in this life as you deserve. It just isn't fair.
You'll never truly be apart.

Take care.

 
At 7:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Derek and Sarah,
You two are such an inspiration to all of us and remind us that love is the most important thing in our lives. We are thinking about you constantly and are so happy that you know how much you are loved. You are not going through this alone because we are here to support you both.
Thank you for all that you share with us. All our love in the world, Nikki and Paul xoxo

 
At 8:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the update. I am glad that is so much beauty for you, as well as so much pain.

 
At 9:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah your strength brought tears to my eyes, you are an amazing woman, my thoughts are with you!

 
At 9:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Derek you are an amazing man with the strength of many!

 
At 9:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Derek,
I came across Sarah's bog by fluke, but have been following your journey. You are an amazing person. Sarah is a strong woman. My thoughts are with you both.

 
At 10:11 PM, Anonymous sue said...

thank you for your update..Sarah remains in my prayers as well as you and your family. Blessings, sue

 
At 12:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Continued strength to you both. Keep up the fight.

 
At 7:20 AM, Blogger Shannon said...

Thanks for the update Derek. You and Sarah are in my thoughts every day. I hope those good moments continue to come.

Shannon (shamu)

 
At 7:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Derek,
Thanks very much for letting us know how you both are doing. You and Sarah are in my thoughts and prayers daily. Strength and love to you both,

Terri (aka Knotty from H!)

 
At 8:42 AM, Blogger Kelly said...

Derek,

Sarah has a lot of people praying for her; thank you for the update.

 
At 10:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the update, Derek. I keep checking this blog daily (actually, hourly). Please take care of yourself and your strong wife.

-DeeAndSammy4ever

 
At 10:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update. You're both in my thoughts very often. Sarah has really helped me to look at life in a different way. Take care of each other.

 
At 12:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah,

Your blog has riveted me since I stumbled upon it when looking for information on Melanoma. Your insight, humour, determination and dignity shone through like a thousand stars.

Derek,

I cannot even begin to explain how much I admire you and appreciate how you're taking such good care of Sarah (physically, emotionally, spiritually). God forbid I find myself in the same situation. If I do, I hope I can handle it half as well as you are. Even though I'm sure you're heart is breaking and it feels like you're world is ending, your strength and love for Sarah is moving…..

C in Ottawa

 
At 12:42 PM, Blogger Careyanne said...

Wishing you both continued peace. You are both amazing examples of how to handle the most difficult of situations that life brings.

 
At 1:51 PM, Blogger medstudentitis said...

Sarah and Derek,
I'm still rooting for you and I hope you have as easy a time as you can given the circumstances. My thoughts are with you.

 
At 5:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Monday / June 4, 2007

Derek,

How is Sarah doing today?
Just wondering about the
both of you today...

Take Care and God Bless the
both of you.

Lubbock, Texas

 
At 5:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking of you everyday. Je vous trouve forts et beaux.

 
At 6:08 PM, Blogger Erin said...

I don't know either of you, but my thoughts are with you this week. Blessings.

 
At 10:16 PM, Blogger karen said...

she is beautiful, derek. thanks for update.

 
At 2:12 AM, Blogger Enoreios said...

I'm angry that someone so special is going to die... Your love for her is inspiring, and remember that she'll be thinking about how much you love her, (and how much she loves you), until her last lucid moment. I'm so glad that you are taking advantage of your time together.

 
At 9:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Sarah,
I only know you by your posts on mpip and your blog but I feel as though you are a part of me. I've tried to put myself in your shoes at times and boy it's unbelievable. Life is just so incredibly cruel at times. You have been so brave and courageous through all of this. No one should suffer in life the way you have and too many people do. Why, why, why? I can only pray that it all makes sense to us someday and that we can truly find eternal peace and happiness. My thoughts are with you, always.

 
At 12:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for the update, Derek. These moments of clarity must be the most amazing gifts in the world to you both right now. I am so thankful that you've had these short opportunities to express your incredible love for each other. Wishing you both peace as Sarah's fight continues. We're all thinking of you constantly and here for you whenever you need us. Love always, Julie xxoo

 
At 1:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the update Derek. I have been wondering how you both have been doing and it's a relief to hear you're both enjoying the time you have together and that Sarah's still fighting. I continue to keep you both in my thoughts.

I have posted my wishes for you both before, but after reading all of Sarah's blog and her 'curious' post, I didn't feel it would be right to post anonymously again.

I 'met' Sarah on weddingbells as well. Although I wasn't aware of her blog until recently, I read it word for word and was intrigued. I laughed, I cried, and I related as I too had my own battle with "c". As Sarah said herself, I didn't beat it for any other reason that the fact that I was 'lucky' and I don't let myself forget it. If strength, love and determination were enough to cure cancer, Sarah would have never gotten it. Her strength and style of writing captured my heart and I know many others. Thank you for sharing with us.

Again, keeping you both in my thoughts.

Lindsey

 
At 2:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's amazing how much of an impact Sarah can have on a complete stranger. I don't know either of you, however I think of you both many times throughout my day. I am happy to hear that you are sharing some meaningful moments together. I'm sure you'll both remember these moments, and treasure them for always.
Sending lots of love and strength to you both,
M.

 
At 2:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know either of you, but found out about Sarah through Wedding Bells. You both are amazing. I have been praying for you.

 
At 5:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

we love you!! keep going girl. keep it up. hugs to you both. absolutly amazing. enjoy. you're so great.

 
At 8:48 PM, Blogger Adrian Torrington said...

Derek,

Hi, it's Adrian Torrington here. I just read through all of the blogs. You are an amazing man Derek. I know we never really knew each other, but from reading I can tell you and Sarah love each other so much, and I'm so glad she's had you to be there for her. Please pass it on that she's in my thoughts and heart always. I will try e-mailing her, but I thought I'd drop a note here just in case.
Blesses on both of you for being such strong hearts.
Warmest regards,
Adrian

 
At 9:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah and Derek,

Thanks for a renewed hope in the human spirit - you are both so blessed to have found each other. I dealt with an untimely death of my Dad through cancer. It robs you of many things, but it hasn't robbed you from inspiring all those whose lives you've touched. Keep each other smiling in your time together. As my Dad's epitaph says, "He deserves paradise who makes his companions laugh..." Thank you for sharing your journey, Sarah and Derek. Sarah, best of luck in your new journey...

 
At 11:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for the update. I check in frequently hoping for good news for you both. I am happy to hear that she is content and peaceful and that you have had moments of clarity to spend together. You are still in my prayers.

-Alisa (Stage IIIB)

 
At 6:37 AM, Anonymous portia said...

Thank you Derek for taking some of your precious time to keeping us updated. I am continually praying for you both. God bless.

 
At 7:08 PM, Anonymous Mandy said...

Thank you for the updates...my thoughts and prayers are still with both of you...

 
At 7:47 PM, Blogger Alex said...

Thank you so much for the update. Once again, it shows what a strong person she is and what a wonderful relationship you have. She is so lucky to have you, and you to have her. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time, that no one wants to face.

 
At 2:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

One of my favorite quotes of all times is actually a line from a song: "The greatest thing you'll ever learn.....is just to love...and be loved in return". I believe that both you and Sarah have already experienced one of the greatest things in life (as referred to in that quote). I wish both of you continued courage to face what lies ahead and the strength to hold your heads up high in this difficult time. Thank you for sharing your story with strangers like us and inspiring every one of us to fully 'live in the present'. God Bless :)

Kathy.

 
At 10:12 AM, Anonymous Bonnie Lea said...

Dear Derek and Sarah
words escape even me. I never got a chance to meet with you sarah at PMH but wanted to being a fellow Canadian.

May God bless you both and keep you in his hands as the delicate flower that you are. Man this is tough I am very proud of you Derek for being who you are and your love for dear dear Sarah

 
At 9:41 PM, Blogger Pro Military Spouse said...

Wow! I just read through every entry on this blog and I want to thank you for sharing your story. In just over an hour, I feel like I know Sarah and more than anything, I understand that I could be her - she could be me. Thank you for reminding me how precious life's moments are. I wish you peace and serenity, with each other and with yourselves.

 
At 11:50 PM, Anonymous Bill in Utah said...

Derek .... so happy to hear this latest news. And that you both have shared our words of Blessings and support from all of us. For we truly mean what we say here. I knew of her strength as I mentioned in the last comment I left. So proud and overjoyed that you two are sharing, and as our hope and prayers watch over you both. I will be in London next month ... God willing. Thank you so very much for letting us know what and how things are going. Keep the positive notes going. I know Sarah wants that. You both are incredible people.
Peace, Blessings and Prayers to both.
Bill

 
At 1:52 AM, Anonymous Ellen said...

After reading each entry, I can't stop thinking of you both. Thanks for taking the time to keep us all updated as it somehow feels like we know you and Sarah.

 
At 12:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't even know how I found this blog but I am grateful I did. You are both in my prayers and as I have read the past entries by Derek and Sarah your strength and struggle is inspiring. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 
At 4:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Derek -

We hope all is well for you. We pray that Sarah is alert and you both are living with grace for every moment that you share. I am sure Sarah will be among angels when she is taken from this earth and will awaken to a place of peace, love, and free of pain.

No Cancer there!

You are in our thoughts and prayers. Wanted to send some support your way.

Lubbock, Texas

 
At 9:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi bro,

My cousin died recently, and we had hopes of a cure from some DCA. Sadly, he didn't get time to take it - he was planning to take it in a few months.

The doctors scared him and told him that it could kill him in combination with chemo - even though his chemo was long finished, and they didn't even read the medical literature we gave them. It seems to be much safer than any kind of chemo.

Some people report miraculous results. It doesn't work for everyone. We got it from buydca.com website for $50 and put it into capsules. The side effects are much less than chemo, but it does strip a little of the nerve insulation, so you need to take vitamin B12 supplement - which repairs the nerve insulation in a couple of days.

People take around 15mg of the powder per kilogram weight of the person - which seems like a good safe dosage. It's apparently better not to dissolve it in water. Just get some empty capsules, and make them up. Probably something around 400mg capsules morning and evening sounds ok, but I'm not a doctor.

Some preparations of DCA cause a secondary chemical impurity called TCE to be created at the same time. The buydca website hired an industrial chemist who claims to have been able to create this chemical without creating the TCE, and is patenting the process.
They offer it for vetrinary use, since they can't sell it for medical usage.

If the so called "miracle" chemical doesn't work, I'm truly sorry for you and your girl. God bless her either way.

I'm sorry for intruding on your blog. I have no commercial connection with that stuff. - I have an unused plastic bottle of it on my shelf here. I just wanted to help someone else by sharing the information on the treatment option that we didnt have.

God bless you

http://info.cancerresearchuk.org/news/behindtheheadlines/dca/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dichloroacetic_acid

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=opera&rls=en&hs=lsD&q=dca+cancer&btnG=Search

 
At 10:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm thinking of you both and am glad that you can make the most of these precious moments together.

 
At 9:45 AM, Blogger Witness-Wife-Mother-Friend said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Sarah and your families at this time....

 
At 6:21 PM, Anonymous Teresa said...

Praying every day. Lots of love,

Teresa

 
At 11:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sarah,

A part of you lives on through this blog and in the hearts of us readers. Your words have touched me and I will not forget you. Your journey has been a courageous and painful one and yet your beautiful spirit has seemingly not been dampened by all you've been through. Thank you for taking the time to include us in your thoughts and feelings throughout your illness. I wish you peace and beauty now and always.

Heather

 
At 9:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Try this:

http://www.treat-cancer.nl

Treat-Cancer.nl

 

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